Realities of Being a Teacher

It goes without saying but I still have to say it.

School in Korea is different than school back home in the states.

The pressure on the students is huge. They would go to academy after academy after school until the wee hours of the night. Sometimes I'd be coming home from shopping around 10pm and I'd see kids with books looking all tired running to catch the subway. Sometimes, the pressure is too much. Awhile ago, my main co teacher and I had a discussion on adolescence and their feelings. She brought up depression and how it affected students' performance. I remarked that, at this age, kids hate everything and because they have so much pressure in Korea, they hate everything even more. She told me how she talked to the student as much as possible and even referred him to the school psychologist because it was out of our expertise as teachers.

A week or so ago, my co teacher told me one of her students committed suicide. I think it was the same student that was depressed but I didn't want to ask. I know of the pressures that Asian kids face, that in Japan it's huge and that the suicide rates are so high, but I never realized it would hit so close to home.

When I first started teaching, I thought I was some sort of novelty simply because the students haven't been exposed to many native English speakers before and that the novelty would wear off. Maybe it will, maybe it won't but what I found interesting is when students talk to me outside of class.

Students always talk to me outside of class but there were two occasions when I was walking to school that stuck with me. I was walking and one of my students recognized me so he ran up to me and started talking. I asked him the basic stuff, how he was doing, what he did yesterday, etc. What I didn't expect was what he said next. He told me about how the day before he was talking to a friend of his from another school. She was very depressed and actually was talking about suicide. I was a little worried so I asked him what he did about it and he said he pretty much talked to her on the phone for hours. A few days later I saw him again while walking to school and we talked about it and we discussed how he was helpful was his friend.

A week later his main English teacher told me how those two conversations meant the world to him, simply because he could use what he was taught and communicate with me. He told the teacher he was so happy.

You know, the saying goes that you don't really know your affect on others but it really hit me when she told me that.

Some people say that some people are born with the ability to do something. Other people say that people work to acquire the ability to do something. I used to be part of the latter group but as I get older a part of me is drifting toward the former. Growing up, and as banal as this sounds, people would tell me that I would be a good teacher. I told them "Naw, I don't have patience for kids." We'd laugh about how I'd probably beat up the kids (I actually whack them with a toy hammer, that's a story for later). I've had quite a few jobs since my senior year of high school, everything from working at Disneyland to retail and foods. The dirtiest I've felt after work was when I was working at a sales-type of environment where I pretty much sold lies to customers. It was from the job that I realized that I was just making money for the man on top of me, and he was making money for the man on top of him and so on.

What's amazing to me is that, after a long day of work, after not sleeping because I spent way too much time online the night before, after dealing with problem children and students that were too cool for school, when I come home I feel... fulfilled. I feel that I did something good in the world. I could be almost falling asleep at work before class but when the bell rings I'm in full gear. There's just something about teaching, about being in front of the class that is so intoxicating and exhilarating.

Finding comfort in the familiar

Being displaced from the familiar, I feel, results in feelings of excitement, nervousness, astonishment, and maybe a little bit of anxiety and insecurity thrown in there for good measure. It's not unlike that of a child, where everyday feels brand new for him because he's so young. That's why children watching the same thing over and over again and that's why they make you read the same story over and over again, it's to comfort them. Since everything is always so new, they need to seek comfort in the familiar.

I also find myself trying to find things that put me at ease. To try to find that familiarity in such a different culture and area. Even though the Vietnamese food here isn't that good, sometimes I just indulge into that nostalgic craving. The other thing that brings me back is the simple act of going to the gym. Such a simple thing but it helps put me in an area where I'm very familiar and comfortable.

Remarking off of what a colleague said her in her blog, every time I see someone who I don't is Korean I want to just run up and greet him or her.

Stuff that I've been doing -
Today my main co teacher and another co teacher went to Daebang Middle School near Daerim for a class observation thing. I thought it was pretty cool. I'm always down for things where I can learn a bit more. We saw how a Korean English Teacher conducted class and then we had a little discussion of it afterward. I saw my homie Matt from orientation there, he actually teaches at that school.

After work a fellow anteater invited me over to her area to work on our lesson plans. Unfortunately I was unable to find her due to miscommunication. Instead, I did some shopping and got some food.

On the way back, in the subway near home, I noticed this random Caucasian girl near me. I looked up and simply asked, "Excuse me, are you from SMOE?" just to make some conversation. Turns out she was but she had already been here for a year. We discussed our positions, how she likes teaching high school and how I feel about middle school. We exchanged contact info, turns out she lives in Guro Digital Complex, which is about four stops away from me.

I've also have been trying to reconnect with friends from the states that are in Korea for one reason or another. I managed to hang out with Esther the other night, I met her in Writing 39B my freshman year. I think I'm going to hang out with some APHIO people in Gangnam on Friday. They were Korean international students studying at UCI. Also, there is a girl, also an international student, that was a part of my APO family whom I never met that I contacted. I sent her an e-mail and I might meet up with her soon. Oh, and last but not least, one of my spoppers goes to a university here. Hopefully I can hang out with her too.

Random experiment of the day -
When I went to the pho place I left some tip. As I went up to the cashier to pay, the waiter brought me the money back.

Social Observation of the day -
I notice sales people treat me differently depending upon my dress when I go shopping. Sometimes I'll go right after work so I'll look all fancy schmancy. Sometimes I'll wear some flip flops and shorts. The days wear I'm all dressed up I have to beat them away with a stick; the days where I'm just casual I can't get any attention. However, I think this is something that happens everywhere.

Things that cross my mind -
I remember this lady would always come into Guppys at night on either Mondays or Tuesday, almost every week. She'd come with her friends. She was a little bit older and it was pretty obvious she wasn't married. I remember her trying to say hi to me one day when I came in to pick up my schedule but I was in a hurry and it didn't register until later. I remember overhearing that she has/had a boyfriend or something when she was talking to her friends. Yet, every so often when I'd look at her direction I'd catch her looking at me and she'd quickly turn away. I mean, the food at Guppys isn't THAT good. I wonder if she realizes that I'm gone.

I wonder how my family is.

I wonder how Chewie is. I miss that little fuzzy guy. To be honest, I almost cried the other day when I saw a dog that resembled him.

I wonder how my best friend and his family is doing. On that note, I wonder how all my friends are doing. There are a lot of people I wanted to be wasn't able t properly say good bye to.

I hope my brother remembered to pick up my last paycheck from Guppys.

I seem to eat about the same amount now that I did back at home but I'm losing a lot more weight now. My best friend and I discussed how, because of the excess of corn in American farms, there are corn by-products everywhere. You can find it in anything from soda to beef. Ground beef, actually, is mostly corn and stuff, not meat. That's why it's so cheap. Maybe that's the difference.

The First Week and Half of Work

I don't think anything couldn't really prepared me for my first day. Sure I have a piece of paper that says I'm certified to teach English as a foreign language. Sure I've taught before. But that first class where the students looked at me and where I just looked back at them...that was something that nothing could really prepare me for.

Sure, people have told me about it but I feel that unless you actually experience it for yourself, you can't really describe it. I was, to borrow a term from norcal homies, HELLLLLLLLLAA nervous. My first period co teacher asked me. "Have you taught before? You seemed okay." I told her, "I was really nervous but I couldn't show the kids." So many things didn't go according to plan but I just had to play it off like it did.

I progressively gained a bit more confidence with each passing class period and day. Toward the end of the week I felt pretty good from a teaching stand point and I realized, for me at least, the best way for me to teach is to yell. It helps me slow down my speech and get the point across. I think I got it half from a certain AP US History teacher in high school, and half from being in military school in 8th grade. And maybe a little bit from R. Lee Ermy from Full Metal Jacket.

My students' reading ability is actually pretty good. I don't know whether they understand it or not but they can read it aloud. Speaking ranges from below average to actually pretty good. Listening is pretty good too. Writing, however, is below average to average in most of the students. It's something I should work on.

Friday night, my friends and I went to Myoungdong for some dinner. Went shopping for a bit after the food. I tried to get a cell phone but it was such a hassle. I didn't get the cell phone until Saturday and it didn't work until Monday. Such a hassle. It started raining later in the evening so we quickly made our way home. Rain in Korea is supposedly acid rain. Not like in the movies or anything but it's not that clean so it's best not to be in it.

Saturday night, a bunch of homies and I hit up Gangnam. First we went to an apartment to meet up and then made our way to Club Eden, a house music club. It was the most expensive cover I've paid - 30,000 won. Now, the exchange rate is roughly 1200 won to a dollar but I just equate 1000 = 1 dollar just to make things easier. The club started off slow but became pretty exciting. Now, I absolutely hate clubbing but the past few times that I've been out here in Korea has been really, really fun. This time a bunch of us foreigners made our way up to the front of the club and danced all night in front of the DJ steps. It was crazzzzzzzzzy. Afterward, a couple of us hit up Itawon, the "foreigner" district. We had some fun there and got lost. While lost, we went down some alleyways. I noticed some cute girls wearing bikinis in small shops. They made the motion for us to come...then we realized we weren't in the right part of town and high tailed it outta there. Oh, on the way out of there we also got our first look of transgendered men....woman? Anyhow we quickly made our way back to the main area of Itawon.

I have to say, it was a pretty crazy night.

Things that are more expensive than soju here -

Water, any juice, food, snacks. Actually, almost everything is more expensive than soju here.

Things that I have noticed here -

I've yet to come across any sort of big dog. I've seen a few medium sized ones here and there but for the most part it's all been really small toy poodle dogs. Actually, even Chewie would be a bit bigger than the average dog over here.

Clothes ARE cheap...for girls. I've seen a few sales here and there for guy but for the most part the good stuff is a bit more expensive.

In the states, we walk on the right, drive on the right, and all that good stuff. Over here, they drive to the right...but walk to the left. Like for instance, we walking pass people on the left when we walk toward someone, not the right.

Traffic signals are merely a suggestion.

With my glasses, I blend in. I kinda feel like a spy. Without it, I look a lot less Korean apparently. In fact today while in the elevator going to the gym, this little 2 year old Korean girl just stared at me. So I waved at her. I remember this one chick once telling me that I look more Chinese and evil without my glasses.

Korea does not believe in paper towels. You don't find any in public bathrooms. On that note, you generally find soap on a stick, not the liquid or soapy kind.

Korea also does not believe in having actual showers. I have a bathroom, standard toilet and sink...and the shower head is attached to the sink!

Korean girls wear heels everywhere. It's just amazing.

Somehow, people still recognize me at the randomest places. I was at this random ass bookstore in Gangnam. This dude comes up to me and asks "Hey, did you go to UCI?"

If you're single in Korea, people will set you up. Case closed. My hyun neem, one of the PE teachers, asked me what kind of girls I liked today.

Dude, people will stare at you.

Also, when I'm with a group of non-Asian foreigners, locals always look at me and speak to me in Korean.

My students don't understand non-Korean Asians for some reason. They try to speak to me in Korean...and I just kinda look at them. And they go "wait, but..you LOOK Korean...why don't you speak Korean, Mr. Thai?" "uhhh I'm not Korean kids." "Oh wait, are you adopted?" "No kids, I'm not Korean."

I learned not to hug people in public and not to ask what university that person is from.

In Korean culture, they say that a good indicator of character is one's choosiness over food. If one is less choosy, that person is considered to be of good character. At least, that's what my co teacher told me after I devoured plate after plate of Korean food. Well, since I've been here almost everyone has asked me if I like Korean food.

I've walked more in my first three weeks of Korea than probably all of summer ...and maybe spring too.

Orientation + First Week

For the most part, orientation was more or less your average high school welcoming speech but drawn out over a better course of a week with not too much excitement. I spent my time trying to meet as many people as possible to try to have a sort of a support network over here.

A couple of notable things did happen at my time at orientation though. The first being that a couple of my buddies and I befriended a local undergrad at the university by the name of Shin. Actually, it seemed as if he was the ONLY student that actually wanted to talk to us. His English is actually pretty good and he gave us a tour of the super high tech library that they have. For my Irvine homies, it puts the Science Library to shame.

Orientation ended on Saturday with a lunch buffet of sorts. It was actually really good but we didn't have time to eat it since we had to get on the bus to our respective areas. There we met our co-teachers and their families. My co teacher is really nice! She brought her husband to help lug around my luggage and stuff. I was shown my apartment which, I think, is called an "office-tel" or something of the sort. It's rather tiny. It's sooo different than what I'm used to at home.

I may have mentioned this before but Korea has this massive widespread fear of swine flu. Ever since we got here we were tested, retested, and then tested again. Rumor had it that the reason our tour to Seoul was canceled was because one of us tested with a fever. And actually, some of us, myself included, are not allowed to work just yet just to be sure we're okay. Actually, one of the first thing my co-teacher asked me was what Americans think of H1N1 and I simply told them the facts that I've read on the papers, that the reason why it's so deadly is because no one has an immunity to it and in fact when it was winter in the southern hemisphere is like the normal flu.

First week

My first regular week outside orientation was rather crazy trying to settle in and everything. After my teacher left me at my place, I spent a few hours trying to acquaint myself with my new living quarters, spent a few hours exploring my immediate vicinity, and then met up with some friends in Hongdae at the Hongik University station exit. Needless to say, I got really lost but managed to get myself there. We ate this really good chicken stew type of thing then met up with some other SMOE, did the usual thing, did some singing room stuff, and then we went back home.

Sunday I did some more exploring and got things taken care of, like my Alien Registration card, going to SMOE Head Office and taking care of things there, I actually had to go twice because I forgot my TEFL Certificate the first time around. Once I got my medical clearance, I was THEN allowed to go to school and meet the teachers, get shown to my desk, and all that. On my first day there I was given a tour and I met most of the teachers, many of which I hardly see now that I sit in my office or classroom all day. Friday was when it finally hit me that I'm WORKING and not simply on holiday (I've met a lot of British people since I came here, some words have rubbed off on me). I spent most of the day lesson planning.

Friday night was a night of uninhibited crazy fun on Hongdae again. Saturday I signed up for a gym near my place and went out again at night. Sunday was some good wholesome fun in Gangnam.