Linebacking in Korea

In early life we acquire skills in order to be successful in later life. We first learn to crawl then to walk, Iwe learn to speak then to read, and of course we learn so socialize.

Here are a few things that have directly helped me out -

1. High school football
If there is one skill I use on a daily basis it's football. I routinely have to navigate through the masses and in fact I also have to push women and children out of the way. Especially women and children.

Sometimes I'll be walking and someone would be in front of me and I'd have to juke him or her out. Or sometimes I'll be stuck in a crowd on the subway and I'll have to push people out of the way to escape.

But the thing that tests my fitness more than anything is when I see my bus or train coming and then I would have to make a dead sprint in order to catch it. Well that and stairs. Man oh man are there so many stairs here.

2. Taking Chinese
Now my Chinese isn't the greatest but I can sorta get around. When I first arrived here with pretty much no knowledge of Korean I relied on my Chinese to get around town on the tube.

3. Drinking
Omg Koreans drink so much. I would have been ill prepared if not for all the Korean friends (and friends that liked to drink) that I had in college.

During my first or second week at my school the PE teachers, all male by the way, took me out for dinner.

Now dinner does not mean just dinner - it also means lots and lots of drinking. While eating sam gyup sal the teachers poured cup after cup of soju to see if I could hang. And hang I did...and that meant going into work the next day with a massive hang over.

4. Growing up eating weird things
Asia has a lot of weird things to eat, for instance, sushi itself is a bit weird - it's raw fish! Don't you normally cook stuff before you eat it? Furthermore, it's weird how sushi has become more or less normal in American society.

However, since I've grown up in a Chinese Vietnamese American household I've been accustomed to eating lots of weird things, so when come face to face with things in Korea, like eating live octopus, I just kind of shrug.

Not touching dog though.

5. Having lots of friends who like kpop and dramas

Oh man this was huge. Because I knew practically nothing about popular culture on arrival, I had to sort of learn everything on my own, but it was a good thing I could always try to remember what my friends liked back home. Also it tremendously helped in my lesson planning.

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Asian Parenting

I've long wondered whether or not it was just me. I always wondered how other kids were able to so easily talk with their parents and have these weird close intimate relations with them. They pretty much made sure I was taken care of and left me to my own devices.

My dad would often work long ass hours, from morning to midnight-type of long hours. I'd barely see him. I'd wake up and he'd go off to work. I'd be going to bed and he'd barely be coming home. Mom might be working, might not be, depending on the economy and whether or not the Cold War era industries have come and gone or not. But mom would usually be there when I came home. She fed me and made me go do my homework before I can do anything else.

It was weird for me because when I spoke to my peers (in elementary school and such) their fathers would generally come home right before dinner and they'd talk and stuff. Not my dad. I'd be lucky enough to say hi before he went to work. Heck, he even worked weekends for pretty much my entire life. I remember thinking how much it sucks because he never took the family everywhere but eventually I grew up and realized he worked those long ass hours for the family, to provide for us everything that we needed - provided it was something that was actually needed.

On a side note - one of the "tricks" we (as in my brothers and my friends) used to do as kids to get things was to say it's for "school".

Using Korea as a comparison regarding the greater East-Asian Confucian child rearing concept, I see a lot of similarities with my childhood as I do with pretty much all of my students. They go to school, go home to study/go to academies to study eat dinner and sleep. Rinse and repeat most every day.

Many of my male workers don't immediately go home after work, usually they do after school classes and further still they would probably go out with their friends for dinner somewhere and get home at around nine or ten, on most weekdays. I'd ask them how often they'd talk to their kids and the fathers would respond, "Oh once in awhile, usually I'd punish them if they did anything wrong." Mothers would generally arrive home at about six, which is when students normally also walk through the door (after after school activities and such), to make sure the kids are well fed.

I've noticed that kids here have a certain sort of limited freedom if they're not at school or at academies studying. They go to noraebangs or pc bangs with their friends, they'd walk around the neighborhood and more or less raise themselves. Actually, a better way to say it would be that the society as a whole would raise children. Teachers here are often seen as second parents. In a way, they're tasked in raising the kids because they'd see teachers more often than they their own parents because of all the time spent in school.

And here I thought I was the only one.

If you had a one of a kind cup that once poured, could pour an unlimited amount of a certain liquid. However, it's a regular metal thermos and can stop pouring whenever. What liquid would you want in that thermos?

Pure, natural water.

The essence of life yo.

Ask me anything

A Culture of Convenience

When deciding upon coming to Korea and upon arrival, I wondered how I'd get around without a car. Sure, I heard of something called a "subway" or "bus" but in California, these things are myths, heard of but never seen, like the fabled black albino. I was sad, not only because I'd be gone from my car, but because I'd actually have to carry things, like in a back pack (or goodness gracious, some sort of bag). I wouldn't be able to use my car as a massive storage locker that I could hoard things with. I'd leave water in there just in case I needed some, I'd leave a snack or two, an umbrella perhaps, and a lot of other things one might need in a day to day venture.

Little did I know that I wouldn't NEED to hoard because in Korea, things are EVERYWHERE. I used to think it was a little ridiculous to have two Starbucks in close proximity to each other but over here, there are some places that have three or four in a block! Not only will there be Starbucks but there would also be Dunkin Donuts, Coffee Bean, and an assortment of smaller coffee places and the strangest thing of all is that they'd all be full!

And that's just coffee.

Seoul is abounded with large quantities of almost everything. I could be walking down the street to my friend's apartment and if I just so happened to be a little be parched, I could just walk and a few meters (because Korea uses the metric system) later, I'd be able to walk into a Family Mart (or Seven-Eleven if you prefer) and buy myself a nice refreshing drink.

Instead of being just a bit thirsty, suppose that you're HUNGRY and fiending for some KOREAN BBQ! (just called BBQ here in Korea) Those places are very abundant in Seoul. One would probably stumble upon at least three traveling to any given location. Also, these places typically would also be filled with older, drunk Korean men. You don't really get the Korean experience without the loud, old men in the restaurant.

What's also nice is how quickly delivery comes. One would be able to call almost any sort of food service (McDonald's delivers here, Chinese, Korean food, pizza, it's all good) and it'll come rather expediently

Now let's suppose you're a girl, because that's key for this next example, and you need a scarf to complete your outfit. Fear not! There are PLENTY of shopping areas pretty much everywhere. Subways are filled with inexpensive shops and booths that sell all these random accessories and outfits. A female friend of mine once remarked, "Shopping should be illegal here. It's so cheap and it's everywhere. That's why I'm always late to things! And OMG the shoes! SO MANY STYLES!"

Now only if I can find some clothes that actually fit, then I'd be in business.

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What do you think is the most rewarding thing about your job right now?

A while ago I was walking to school and a student was late and saw me and run up to catch up to me. He walked with me the rest of the way to school (knowing he'd be punished by being late) and we talked about life. He talked about how his friend was feeling a little suicidal (as a teacher we'd say this is higher level thinking and communication) and how he was sad for her and wanted to help her out.

Later that week his regular English teacher told me how he felt awesome just being able to talk to me about that kind of stuff. That's when I knew I was going in the right direction in life.

Ask me anything

What was your first paying job?

I worked at Disneyland, believe it or not.

Ask me anything

How's Seoul? :)

It's good! The weather has some getting used to at first but once one's able to handle the humidity and the crazy non-Californian cold, it's rather nice.

It's funny because one of my friends asked me, "Hey, do they all dress like in Korean dramas?" First I said, "They just call them 'dramas' here. And yes, many people do dress as if it were a drama."

Foods really good, I've always been a foodie. The one thing I don't like is how good non-Korean food is super expensive. That's one thing I know I took for granted back home.

Ask me anything

If you had only ONE day left to live, how would you spend it?

I mostly likely would steal a pair of binoculars somewhere and get to the highest point I could find and just people watch.

And then go have an adventure myself!

Ask me anything

Don't Panic, make sure you have a towel

It's nice being busy. Work, class, gym, hang out. You really can't ask for much more than that. Personally, I like being busy because if I'm not, I end up doing a whole lot of nothing. Like in college where you get a day off from work, have nothing planned, just wanting to relax and you end up...doing nothing the entire day. A few of those days here and there are nice but too many makes me feel like a waste.

Quite recently, South Korea had announced that it had determined that North Korea was the cause of the destruction of the South Korean naval ship, Cheonan. Right after the incident was reported I immediately registered with the embassy and took a look see at some evacuation procedures just in case. I live south of the Han River and the closest evacuation point for me would be the Mok Dong Ice Rink. Talking to some of my military buddies, looks like we'd be evac'd to Japan if anything happens. I'm always hoping nothing will but just in case it's nice to know where to go.

I never understood how good we had it back at home. How VERY good we had it. My parents flew a war torn country to get to a place where all you needed to do was to go to school, get good grades, get a nice job, and be happy. Many of the people who grew up in Orange County often remark on how it's "the bubble" because we're so sheltered from the "rest" of the world.

But it is.

I've never had to think about war or military action. Stuff like that was always a world away. These days I've been reading articles and posts on forums on people's opinion on what's happening with this North Korea situation. The articles would talk about Kim Jong-Il, nuclear weapons, what would happen to Seoul, this that and the other thing and I realized something - it's just a game for them. A game of analysis, a game of debate. They have nothing in stake because hey, they're a world away. It's a whole 'nother ball game when it's right at your doorstep. All of my friends who I've talked aren't trying to analyze anything, they're not trying to see the financial ramifications or the political movements in all of it, they're just trying to stay calm and collected because like me, they've never had to worry about stuff like this before.

As always, random stuff -

- The Korean accent is funny to me. my female companion once remarked that she liked "chomby" movies. I looked at her and asked her what that meant in English. She said, "No no, chomby, you know, scary."

"Huh?"

"They eat your brains?"

"OH zombie movies!"

Koreans don't have the "z" so they have a difficult time pronouncing it. Oftentimes it comes out sounding like a "ch".

- On that note, some of my teacher friends are devious. My friend told me a story about how one lesson was about presidents and such and how one of the vocabulary words was "election.'

Hilarity ensued.

You can tell our level of maturity with that one.

- Recently I've been trying out that P90x thing. I really like it, it's super useful. Unfortunately, it's not for me. After doing it (sort of) for about a month, I've lost a lot of muscle mass.

- At the gym tonight I put my cheerleading training to good use. I was sitting at the bench press resting when I saw two of the female gym staff members carrying this unconscious girl to the front. I BURST into action and helped carry her to the front of the gym where she woke up. She's fine now. One of the staff members gave me an energy drink for that. It was nice.

- I've come to realize why we watched so many movies in hs and college. Damn teachers are lazy. How do I know? There are just some days where I look at my kids and go, "Man, I wish I could just put on Mr. Bean right now, dang kids."

- How to Train Your Dragon was bad ass.

- Apparently Koreans don't really like milk tea. It explains the lack of boba shops around. I travel far and wide in search of boba. I've been calling it bubble tea recently because for some reason, the rest of the US calls it bubble tea. My friends and I have found one place in Sinchon and one place in Myeongdong.

- My Vietnamese and Chinese is so bad now. I called my mom the other day and it was the funniest thing you'd ever seen. Granted, my Vietnamese was never great or even decent but man, seeing as how only speak it about once every month or so it's hard to maintain it.

- For the longest time back home I didn't like bibimbap. I know it's good. But shoot, I can't justify spending eight bucks on rice, veggies, and gochujang (which is this Korean sauce thing, very similar to Vietnamese hoisin sauce in how it's in EVERYTHING in Korea). But now that I'm in Korea, for 4000 won (roughly 4 bucks), it's delicious!

- I'm convinced that when Star Craft II comes out, nothing will get done in Korea for at least a month.

Sticking Out like a Sore Thumb

It's official. I can't shop at Dongdaemun. It's the local clothing flea market-type thing in Seoul. You go around, do some eye shopping (that's what window shopping is in Konglish), haggle a bit, buy some stuff, go home. Thing is, they tend to mark the price up for Westerners so haggling's a bitch.

So the other day, my buddy Matt and I came up with this devious plan - instead of speaking English, we'll speak broken ass Chinese (because that's how good our Chinese is -_-). We were excited, finally I could haggle with the rest of the Asians. It was the best plan ever! Anyhow, we get there, walk around, comment on things in Chinese, talk about the weather and stuff (again because it's one of the few things ALL language classes teach). We stop by one shop as I spot something I like. Before I could spout any sort of Chinese commenting on the shirt the shop keeper looks at me and says "Hi, American? I give you good deal."

Frack. I'm the worst spy ever.

So alas, our cover was blown so we switched to our native English and continue on shopping and looking around. I was wearing a jacket at the time, thinking that somehow a jacket will add to my disguise of not being American, and we approached a vendor. I asked in Korean, "Do you have any extra large sizes?" He said, "Ha, you're not extra large, take off your jacket." So I promptly oblige. He just kinda looked at me and just said, "No clothes." I guess wearing a jacket really does hide your figure.

However, it seems that only people in Dongdaemun (and taxi drivers) are adept at spotting Asian foreigners. When I go to restaurants and such, the waiters/waitresses automatically assume I'm Korean. Hell, since I'm learning Korean right now I'm able to order the basic stuff here and there. The funny thing is if I'm given options with my order or if they say something about the order, I'm effed and I just end up looking like a fool trying to say "Oh, I don't speak Korean" when I just spoke Korean.

What happens sometimes is when I'm waiting for the subway to come and an ajumma (old lady) comes and speaks to me in Korean. I'm assuming she's asking about the train arrival or if it goes somewhere specific. I would immediately tell her that I don't speak Korean. More often than not, said ajumma would then get all mad and start screaming at me telling me to go to hell and what not because I'm a no good Korean because I don't speak Korean. Before I can say anything else off she storms off to find the nearest real Korean to ask directions from.

And of course, quick hits -

Apparently I'm super Californian. Many of the people I meet over here often remark how Californian I am with all the polo wearing, hair spiking, chuck shoe lace tying, and of course, cold weather complaining.

Speaking of cold weather, now I know why my parents moved to California. Thank you mom and dad.

A Quickly, the boba place, just opened in Myeongdong. Even though it's about an hour away, I go there often enough now that the employees already know me by remarking, "Oh hey Wesley, he's here again!"

Speaking which, Korea has really altered my perception of time. Back at home, I would absolutely hate driving more than 30 minutes to get anywhere, heck, 25 minutes is really pushing it. But over here if someone invites me to let's say Sinchon for something that's like 45 minutes away? No problem!

what's the most awkward thing that's happened to you as a teacher?

Hmm, one of the first weeks where a student asked me if I had a gun. For a second I was dumbfounded before I remembered that most of the information my students receive about America is from the media (movies, television shows, and the like) and since many of these shows and movies depict gun wielding Americans as a rule rather than the exception, I can see that they picture Americans as kinda crazy.

At least, I think that's how they perceive it.

Ask me anything

I'll have the usual please

Back at home, I used to frequent this little Vietnamese bakery called Gala Bakery near my house at least three times a week back in my college days. It had the best cafe sua da, Vietnamese iced coffee, and pate chaud, these little pork/chicken baked pastry-type things. They were very good. I went there so often that when they see my car they’d automatically have a cup of coffee sitting on the counter waiting for me to consume it. Oftentimes I’d simply get a coffee so I’d simply walk in, hand them the cash (with exact change), take my coffee from the counter, and walk back into my car. During those times, the only things said were, “Thanks” and “You’re welcome” in Vietnamese.

Over here in Seoul, there are two places that have the same sort of familiarity near my place. The first was is an older street vendor who sells these chicken skewer thingies that I tried with a Korean friend when I first got here. I see him every day as I pass him to go to the subway, I’d slightly bow as I say hi. He doesn’t speak a lick of English and I’m slowly progressing in my Korean so we don’t really speak much. When I do order from him though, I simply stand in front of him and he readily cooks the chicken skewer with my preferred sauce.

The other spot is this little Korean dumpling place in the street market near my apartment. I often walk by the little shop as I come home from work. There’s this nice Korean lady who often runs the front of the store that I see when I’m there. I remember one day she asked how the dumplings were, since she saw me all the time, and I told her I thought they were super delicious. Every since then she’d always give me an extra dumpling. I gather that I’m unique in that I spoke to her in my broken ass Korean and that she’d see me about the same time every day. So every time I come there now she knows exactly what I want. It’s rather nice.

Student-isms: 7 Commonly Encountered

Kids say the darndest things, as they say. Now, if you change up some cultural considerations and mix around different social mores here, kids will then say some pretty funny stuff.

The following quotes are all true.

1. I'm fine, thank you, and you?

Remember how most of us took Spanish as the foreign language requirement in high school? Well, I didn't because I took French because I wanted to be a non conformist for some reason. To this day I only remember how to count and how to say cheese omelette. In any case, you'll remember the answer to "Hola, como estas?" is always "Bien, y tu?"

When you study English, the correct answer to"Hi, how're you?" will always be "I'm fine, thank you, and you?" It's a running joke amongst the teaching community here.

2. Mr. Thai, do you have a gun?

We get much of our perceptions, however wrong or right, from movies and televisions nowadays. Many Americans think that Amsterdam is a place for drugs and hookers (yay Eurotrip), Vietnam is full of hookers that will love you long time, and that Jamaicans all get high all day and all night.

Due to American programming where shows such as CSI, 24, and anything Fox can come up with , reign supreme many people outside of the states have a perception that all of America is dangerous and we all have guns for some reason, JUST in case there's a gang fight in the middle of the street so we'll all start shooting each other.

3. Show me the money

You know how we all know a few words of a foreign language from certain films here and there? Many Americans have learned "di di mau" from various Vietnamese War movies, "omelette du fromage" from Dexter's Laboratory, and how every Austrian speaks like Arnold.

I'm assuming some of my students just saw Jerry McGuire because it became one of the only phrases my kids say to me outside of class.

Typical conversation

me - "Hi ______, how're you?"

kid - "I'm fine, thank you, and you?"

me - "Great!"

kid - "SHOW ME THE MONEYY!" *holds hand out for money, I laugh and walk away, they chase me shouting, seeing this, about 8 more kids start chasing me shouting the exact same thing."

4. Mr. Thai, do you have a wife?

Remember when you were in middle school and how everyone over the age of 20 was considered old? I imagine that's how my kids view me. One of the first questions I was asked by my very first class I taught was, "Do you have a wife?" Now, this struck me as odd because this never happens back at home. My first thought was, "Oh shit, do I that old? I knew I should've gotten botox when I had the chance!" Turns out, Korean men about my age get hitched about...my age.

What's funny in the regard is not only do students ask me if I have a wife but other coworkers do as well. When I respond that I don't have a wife they always say, "Why not? Go get married...now!" I just can't win.

5. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Korean middle school students have the maturity of your 8 year old cousin. They chase each other around, call each other names (like ugly face), and play fight with tennis rackets and ping pong paddles. Often these actions cause these students to scream bloody murder and go "TEACHER! HE'S HITTING ME!" or the ubiquitous "HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!!" or the best "(to another student) I'm not gay. (to me) Teacher! Make him stop touch (sic) me!"

6. She's ugly

My female students have no problem voicing their opinion on any given person's attractiveness. When I play music videos for them before class often times they would either say "no!! ugglyyy!" or "oh my gawd, so beautiful!" In fact, there have been many times where a group of female students would stop me in the hall to tell me this, "Mr. Thai! You know what?" "What?" "She's ugly!" *points to another female in the group, at which time random Korean words are then spoken and they start chasing each other around and I go on my merry way to wherever I was headed*

7. Mr. Thai, you are handsome. Give me candy!

Students like to be suave and tricky.

Many times, they would simply skip the whole flattery thing and go for the main goal - chocolate. They'd walk right up to me and say "cho-co-late!"

To which I say, "chu-gu-lay?" (do you wanna die?)

"No no teacher, CHOC-CO-LATE!"

"yes yes, CHU-GU-LAY?"

"choc-co!"

"chu-gu"

"chocolate!"

"chugulay!" *repeat for another five minutes, student walks away in failure, I do the evil teacher laugh*

It's similar to that one episode of The Simpsons where the family goes down to Australia and Marge tries to order coffee at a bar.

Marge - "A cup of coffee please" Bartender- "One can of beer coming right up"

"No no, coffee." "Be-er"

"Cof-fee" "Bee-eer"

"C-o-f-f-e-e" "B-e-e-r"

Bonus! Teacher Quote 8. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

I was in the little English teachers office and we were talking about some school related stuff. A co teacher told me after talking about it, "Oh please don't tell anyone about what we just talked about." I then told her, "It's okay, we have a saying back home 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.'" We all laugh.

She then asks, "Wait, what happens in Vegas?"

I giggle and walk away.

FAN DEATH and 9 other funny things about Korea

Korea's full of fun, quirky things.

1. FAN DEATH - This is something that I've never heard of until coming here. Supposedly, if an electric fan is left on over night while you sleep, you will DIE. The reasons for this range from hypothermia (because the fan keeps cooling you forever and ever) to asphyxiation (because the fan sucks out all the oxygen). In fact, this belief is so widespread that all electric fans come with a timer so if you forget to turn off the fan, it'll do so automatically! More information could be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death.

Conversation with a co-teacher about it -

Me: "Hey, if you leave the fan on at night and sleep, what will happen?"

Her: "Well, you DIE! Everyone knows that."

2. YOU'RE A LOSER - Some months ago, a girl at a local university here (Hongik University for anyone who knows), was on a nationally broad casted talk show and caused quite an uproar. Now, Korean talk shows are different from American talk shows because instead of having one or two guests and a host, it's about 20 guests and maybe a few hosts.

The girl was asked about guys and what kind she prefers. She responded that she likes tall men, which everyone could probably agree is pretty normal with the "dark and handsome" archetype. Now, she continued to say that she only likes men who are 180cm or taller and considers those under that height requirement to be "losers" and only those deemed tall enough to be "winners".

The station and the girl caught a lot of bad press for said incident, the station for not editing the footage out before broad casting and the girl for...well you know. Word on the street has it that she left school because no one likes her anymore. This incident is so famous that two jokes came out of it - Kim Jong Il attacking the South Korean navy just days after that event and when college students are drunk they'd go around saying "hey! you're a winner!" or "hey! you're a loser!" to other drunk college kids. I'm a loser. =(

3. WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR WORK DONE? - When talking to Koreans, I notice that they stare at me often, not because I'm a foreigner or anything like that, but because apparently I have facial features that are considered to be desirable in contemporary Korean society.

Image is HUGE in Korea (and so are tissues...if you know that joke) and thus so is plastic surgery. Subways and buses are loaded with advertisement depicting numerous before and after photos and how this clinic or that clinic will enable you to look your "best".

Oftentimes, they would ask, "Wow, you have eyelids!" I would then respond with, "Yeah, you do too, how else do people blink?" Then they'd giggle and said "No no, you have the fold!" "What fold?" "You don't have that fold?" "No!"

4. THERE IS NO FOURTH FLOOR - the number four has the same connotation in the East as the number thirteen in America. Sometimes, instead of the 4th floor, it'd be Floor F. This can be traced to Chinese in that the word for four sounds like the word for death. The same reasoning is used for the number eight as it sounds like the word for prosperity in Chinese. Just to clarify, eight is lucky in Chinese, not Korea.

Seven's lucky in Korea and in America, that is, unless you're playing craps after the point has been made.

5. KIM YUNA - They love her here. I love her. She's awesome. She's to ALL OF KOREA like how my friends ruv Kobe back home.

6. DO THE MACARENA - Americans have special bond with "audience participation" songs, these include such classic hits as - "YMCA", "Crank That (Soulja Boy)", and the quintessential "Chicken Dance".

That same connection can be said of the youth here in Korea, except instead of a few select songs, it's ALL the songs. Almost every popular song here also comes with a simple, repetitive, yet super catchy dance. I'll throw a song on Youtube for the kids to listen to between class periods and if students come in early they'll almost always start dancing to the song.

A theory on why these dances are easy to replicate is due to the Korean culture of noeraebangs (karaoke) in Korea in which kids would go to hang out and dance away the afternoon/night with their friends.

7. KARAOKE - On that subject, awhile back a student saw me on the street and she waved hello. She was rather excited to see me so I made some small talk. I asked her where she was going and she simply stated that she was going to the noraebang. Now, "no rae" translates to "singing" and "bang" is "room". So to the untrained foreigner, that's simply karaoke to us so I simply restarted to her, "Oh, you're going to karaoke?" She then shook her head and clarified "Oh NO Mr. Thai, I don't drink soju. Karaoke is for adults." Apparently, you can also order girls at these places.

Not that I'd know...or anything.

8. DO THE CHA-CHA - In Korea, people tend to walk on the left, it's how they've been taught to their entire lives. Rumor has it that it's due to Japanese influence because back in the day, Japan had samurai who wore their katanas on the left. Walking on the left apparently would enable these warriors to respond quickly to emergencies, like slaying dragons and stuff.

Anyhow, it's always funny when you're walking and a Korean is also walking directly into your path and you have to do the whole side stepping business.

9. FEAR THE CAMERA - Koreans LOVE to take pictures, love love love love to take pictures, be it pictures of food, people, places, or multiple pictures of themselves in different poses. One caveat: they love it if they're ready. If they're not, they run for the hills. When I have a mob of students mobbing me asking me questions or requesting candy all I have to do is take out my camera and threaten to take a picture of them (I usually do) and they'll scurry along or hide their faces.

10. HYORI TOLD ME TO DRINK SOJU - Koreans love soju. That's just as fact as the sky is blue, the moon is cold, and you shouldn't swim in the Han River. One of my first nights in Korea at my school, a few PE teachers took me out on like a teacher dinner/bonding thing. We ordered samgyupsal and soju. Now, I was told by one of my littles that if you're offered a drink in Korea by an older gentleman...YOU MUST DRINK IT. So drink I did! Also, in Korea, if your glass is empty, it must be refilled, no matter what.

As you can see, this caused a bit of a conundrum. They would pour, I would drink, and the process would begin anew. As anyone who has consumed alcohol beverages with me knows - I'm quite a bit of a light weight, so thus is soon became apparent to my Korean co workers that I was slowly but surely becoming drunk. Whilst on this road to un-sobriety, a PE teacher remarked to me, "Slow down! It's okay.*" What I wanted to say was, "No no, YOU slow down." What I said was "Oh it's okay, I can handle it." Obviously I couldn't.

I came in the next day to work, with news already spread somehow, my coteacher greeted me with, "So...I hear you like to party."

BONUS! 11. WELCOME TO BACKWARDSLAND - Pizza and spaghetti are considered "girly" foods. In fact, Mr. Pizza and Pizza Hut are popular date destinations and popular hang outs for young women. Actually, Outback Steakhouse is also considered to be "girly food" over here because of their service, lunch platters, and delicious bread. Man food, as always, is meat and alcohol, or samgyupsal and soju as everyone knows around here.

Valentine's Day is the day where GIRLS get to stress over what to get guys. Muahahahahahaha.

White Day (3/14) is what we know of as Valentine's Day in 'Merica.

Black Day (4/14) is a day where singles go out and eat black noodles. Everyone gets their day!

*I later learn that what he meant was that I didn't have to take the entire shot. Apparently in Korea, it's okay to sip or go halfsies on shots. Only when the words "ONE SHOT" is shouted at the table must the drinker down the entire cup.

I'm obese

Using the CDC regulations for Body Mass Index measurement, I come out to a hefty 30 points or so, 30 and higher is considered obese. Now, everyone knows that the BMI is simply used to measure how "dense" someone is and those with higher muscle appropriation would score higher on the BMI and doesn't necessarily mean they have copious amounts of fat stored.

That being said, I've actually lost quite a bit of weight here since coming to Korea even with eating the same amount/more than I did when I was back home. Actually, I think I drink much much more than back home. Soju sales do quite well here. I go to the gym quite a bit, just as I did back home, and just the same, the amount of progress I've had here is substantially higher as well.

This all leads me to think about the old mantra - you are what you eat. If you eat horrible foods filled with hormones, starch, and countless additives, you in turn will be filled with such delectable items. Oh, I forgot one thing, American food is filled with a grip load of corn. If you take some ground beef from the supermarket, cook it straight, you'll taste the corn straight away.

Since coming here I've noticed how healthy I've become. I don't feel like absolute shit after eating a nicely portioned meal. Some people say such meals are "hearty", I say such meals are full of crap ingredients. One thing I've noticed is the size of chickens here. They're tiny by American standards. I remember when my family raised some chickens in the backyard and when my mother prepared them for dinner, they didn't have nearly as much meat as normal store bought chickens, such chickens, as everyone knows, are pumped full of hormones because Americans have an obsession with nice white meat.

What bothers me is how effing fat America is. It seems that it's "okay' for people to be overweight and in some cases, extremely so. Yet we have no one to blame but ourselves. Cheap food, namely from fast food joints and such, are loaded with junk which then proceed to fill up the fat storage of Americans at an alarming rate.

So then people are are extra large and with these extra few pounds they develop problems with their health which in turn leads them to the medical system and insurance companies whose sole option then is then to prescribe drugs for the condition. It's all part of this viscous cycle.

If we all are able to watch what we eat, then so much better for all of us.

It's like AA

Taking it one day at a time.

Some days I feel pretty good and I feel like I could stay abroad for quite awhile, other times I feel like I just want to go home and be with everything that I'm familiar.

I tell myself this is simply a part of growing up - getting away and maturing.

I tell myself that everything's going to stay the same at home - all my friends tell me so, every time I'd ask them how everything was they'd say it's pretty much how I left it.

But I realize why I feel like this. It's the feeling of anxiety of not being at home and the thought of maybe missing out on something, something epic and extraordinary.

Also, it may just be that it's during break now and everyone's out doing stuff and I'm in Seoul.

A Linguistic Adventure

My Vietnamese skills are quite horrendous, to be sure. Any Vietnamese speaking friend of mine back home can attest to that and there are also two more examples in Korea that simply add to the testimonials.

Example #1
My homies and I went down to Ansan to get some legit pho and get some balut. In Ansan, there is a kind non Korean Asian Market Place complete with stores and goods catering to Vietnamese, Indonesian, Chinese, Filipino, and I'm sure much more. We go to this Vietnamese restaurant that I've been to before with my friend Christy and proceed to order. We all get pho and we order some balut for those in our group whom are brave enough to try it. I sure hope I used "whom" correctly there.

So we eat and into our meal I ask our Vietnamese waitress for something. Now, as a background, there are three Vietnamese dialects, Southern, Central, and Northern, I speak the southern one and our waitress spoke northern. So I ask her for this little side dish and she couldn't understand. I then try to articulate a little bit more and add more of an accent. No dice. I tried one more time just to be sure before I gave up and asked my Korean friend in English to ask the nice, patience Vietnamese waitress in Korean for something that I wanted.

Turns out they didn't have it.

Example #2
My homies and I stumbled upon a random Vietnamese restaurant in the middle of Suwon the other day and we decided to head inside because they actually had Vietnamese writing on the menu. I've stumbled upon many pho places in Korea and I always test them out by first asking if they speak Vietnamese in Vietnamese and then trying the iced coffee. I asked the ajumma that greeted us if she spoke Vietnamese and she gave a blank look and I thought it was another epic fail. That was until someone from the back came and spoke Vietnamese! My friends and I were delighted so we sat down for some iced coffee and other things.

So while we drank our coffee we spoke with the waitress - my friends in Korean with her and I spoke Vietnamese with her. Rather funny because we were translating back and forth since there wasn't a common language that we all spoke. The waitress asked if I had been to Vietnam before, now quick background check again - Vietnamese is a tonal language, so making the same phonemes with different pitches result in drastically different meanings, and I told her I haven't. Good good.

Then she asks me why. Of course, I could give her a normal reason like being in college, having no money, or not having time. Which I did, I told her I didn't have time to go because I've been busy since graduating and coming to Korea. Funny thing is, the word "time" sounds a lot like the word for "wife" in Vietnamese. Guess which one I said?

The nice waitress then proceeds to ask how old I am, why I didn't have a wife, and give my friends and I more free food. She also tells us to come back. True story.

Update

It's been a little while since I've last written. I've realized that I do my best writing at night when I should be sleeping. Since I've been trying to develop good sleeping habits, of which I've failed at recently, I haven't been writing as much as I have wanted.

Weather
December and January have been the coldest months of my life. No joke. The cold is nice and all but damn, having weather in the teens is pretty chilly. If it's windy, it's even worse. Some days I just bundle up at home and just leave only if absolutely necessary. They say this winter is the coldest winter Seoul has experience in a century. Now I know why people say Californians don't know what cold really is. I envy all my friends back home for sure. Also, I don't understand why people hate on California's "one" season, you really can't beat going out in shorts and flip flops in January.

However, I will say that when dealing with the cold, that's mainly the only thing you have to deal with. In warmer climates, you have to deal with things like bugs and stuff. I remember my first week in my apartment I saw this ginourmous centipede on the wall. Needless to say I screamed like a frightened adolescent in a slasher movie until the centipede met its doom from Mr. Paper Towel. Thank you Mr. Paper towel.

Also, when it's warmer I actually have to be fashionable and I just can' t compete with Koreans in this avenue. Right now, I'm literally wearing the same thing every day. Jeans, t shirt, sweater/hoodie, puffy jacket - I'm good for the day. I've been way too lazy to actually iron anything.

Stuff that happened in December
Perhaps one notable fact is that I'm a year older. The main things I remembered from the night was that my friends were there, it was fun and it was nice seeing everyone, and when I was totally drunk I asked my British friends to say "aluminium" and I'd say "Haha, you guys are funny, it's aluminum. Hey, can you say 'garage'."

Sorry guys!

Actually, December was pretty fun. As many of my friends know, I'm kind of a whacky guy, so for my class I managed to get my hands on a Santa costume as part of the holiday lesson. In addition to using it for teaching I also would wear my Santa get up around town. It was pretty awesome and random. I'd have little Korean kids coming up to me on the way to the subway saying "Hi Santa!" I actually had my Santa bag with me and I'd give them candy. They'd be all smiley and walk away with their parents. This one time I was waiting for the subway and this older Korean lady approached me and asked for directions. I told her I didn't speak Korean. Needless to say, she didn't believe that Santa wasn't Korean.

I also experienced my first Korean Christmas, it was pretty nice in that it was cold and such. It actually snowed a few days after Xmas even though all the forecasters said it would snow on Christmas. Lies.

When it did finally snow, it was wonderful. I was running in it in the jackets my friends and family sent. I made snow angels, slid in the snow, slipped and ate shit, and learned to walk in the trails that people have walked in before. Pretty cool overall.

The Perfect Spy
Apparently I have a very ambiguous face. Those that have known me for longer periods of time have known me to complain about how I don't really look like anything. I have come to accept this and in fact, enjoy it.

When I went down to the Vietnamese area in Ansan many Vietnamese people would ask what I was because I looked kind of, sorta not really Korean, but I spoke Vietnamese. I told them I was half Vietnamese and they said "...naw, I don't see it." So I told them I was Chinese and they said, "...Nawwww. You look too Korean for that."

I can't win.

One thing I never quite understood is the Asian obsession with the second eyelid/fold thing. In Korean, I think it's something like "Sam ga pyul" or the like. Everyone in my family has it so I just assumed all Asians had it. It wasn't until college that people started telling me "Oh wow, you have really nice eyes. You have eyelids!" I blinked and said, "Well...you have eye lids too. How else do you blink?" My friend would then try to explain it to me and I understand that a little crease does indeed exist. I simply find the obsession a bit humorous.