Ethnicity and Socialization from the Media

You know I was a sociology major when I title my blog entries like that.

One thing that I'm still wrapping my head around is the fact that Asians are on advertisements. Growing up in the US, the only thing we ever saw was Peyton Manning doing Mastercard commercials and Dwayne Wade doing something with Powerade. The one thing I saw Yao Ming in was that funny commercial where he was trying to ask if he could pay with a check. Suffice to say, these advertisements didn't really make me want to buy or do anything.

I didn't realize how much ethnicity affected the connection between an advertisement and reception of the message the ad is trying to sell until I settled a bit more over here in Korea. I have many Asian American female friends that would often complain about being too heavy and/or how their mothers would berate them for not being thin enough. I look at them and go, "Yo, I haven't been your weight since I was 13. You're already thin!" They'd simply look at me and say "Dude, you don't get it." I guess I really didn't.

A little while ago I was talking to my co teachers at school and for some reason we'd talk about weight and stuff. I think it was because I mentioned how I was trying to lose weight. One of my co teachers responded that back in the day during her high school and early college days her main job was trying to lose weight. Her ideal goal was 45 kg, or roughly 100 lbs. She's 163ish cms, or a bit taller than 5'3. I blinked at her and said, "I haven't been 100 lbs since I was 10!" She continued and said that during those years maintaining the ideal standard of beauty was above all else in her life. Skinny first and then academics and stuff. She talked about how little she'd eat and how she longed for food, but hey, she looked good. The happy part of the story is that she eventually realized it wasn't healthy and started to eat normally again.

We continued our discussion on ads, commercials, and societal pressure on aesthetic values. Another co teacher mentioned how in the media all you see are well dressed thin Korean boys and well dressed Korean girls in heels chasing them. That trickles down to the general appearance of everyone else. I would like to point out that tonight I was out with a few buddies of mine and we were chilling at a Starbucks in Gangnam. We talked about how at work we started off wearing suits and ties and stuff in the beginning but started to slowly dress down. I jokingly said, "Yeah man, sometimes I'd put on my suit just to go to the coffee shop to read a book." A friend said, "Hahaha you're funny man." I then pointed out that everyone around us, except us silly foreigners, were pretty much in suits.

However I digress.

Personally, sometimes I feel like I'm succumbing to all the ads and such. The other day I was walking home from work and I thought to myself, "Hmmm, maybe I should get long hair." This is rather shocking in that I absolutely hate long hair on myself. Ugh.

Quick Hits -

Did you know that the hood of a car is called a "bonnet" in the UK? I guess it's similar in that it's something you'd put over your head.

Coffee shops are absolutely ginourmous in Korea. Restaurants are a little bit on the smaller side because people just go in, eat, and go out and get coffee where they'll chill for hours. When I say ginourmous I mean the small ones are about the size of an average McDonald's, I've encountered one that's bigger than some mall bookstores.

My students think it's absolutely cute when I speak Korean, even when I say something like "gah bul ji mah" which means stop messing around. They just kinda giggle and say "SAY AGAIN!"

The other day I was talking to a Cantonese friend of mine and I asked what "mo-ah" meant. The conversation went something like this.
Her: "Nothing."
Me: "But I know it means something!"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"But it's in all those movies!"
"It's nothing."
"Then how come Jackie Chan always says it!?!?"
"I mean, the meaning of the word, is nothing."

Also speaking with the same friend whom emigrated from HK to Canada so she learned British English. She told us an anecdote about how she asked a male classmate if she could borrow a "rubber". In British English, "rubber" is an eraser. In Canadian and American English, it's ...well you know.

My East Coast friend and myself got into an argument about the difference between sweatSHIRT and sweater. In his definition a sweatshirt was a thick long sleeved top that kept the wearer warm. A sweater is similar but different in that it is knit and you can see/feel the patterns on it. My stance is that sweater and sweatshirt were essentially the same and that it's sufficient to call both items sweaters. Also I told him that I was right because the West Coast is better the Lakers beat the Magic. We agreed to disagree.

I find that my writing skills are lacking recently when chatting with my friends the other day. I'm trying to write more to consistently use the skills I acquired while earning the degree that my dad paid so much for. Thanks Dad.

The Cultural Difference Cow

Know how there's the awkward turtle? There's also the cultural difference cow. The former comes into play during socially awkward situations and the latter is there in culturally different situations.

In my brief time in Korea, I've come to realize a differences between American/Western and Korean/Eastern cultures. Some are funny, some are more sensitive.

The other day I was chilling in my office chair all spread out and taking up all sorts of room and my co teacher had to kinda squish between me and the wall a little bit to get to her side (whoops). It was when a gender related cultural difference occurred to me - growing up in America as males, we're taught to take up as much space as possible with our body language. When we cross our legs we have to put ankle to knee to use room, whereas girls are taught to take up as little space as possible. When I just sit and relax I'll automatically sprawl out. Perhaps this is a reflection of America having TONS of space and land and Korea barely having any.

Like any other male raised in the good ole US of A will tell you, when we get surprised (or scared from a crazy zombie flick) we'll curse up a mutha. In fact, if we haven't seen a good friend in awhile we'll probably also curse up a mutha calling our friends all sorts of mean things that are perfectly acceptable because both are good friends. In Korea and at least with girls, in surprise they'll say "Oh-ma!" which literally translates to mother. I have no idea why they say mother when they're surprised.

Expression of feelings it something else that I've noticed that is different. In America, whenever we ask "How are you?" The correct answer is always "Good" or something similar to that. Over here though, despite the stereotype that Koreans are more stoic than most, they seem to be much more expressive when asked personal questions like that. When I ask my students "Hey, how are you?" They'll always say how they feel - sad about a test, mad at classmates, happy about other things. In fact, I think one day I was asked, "Mr. Thai, how come you're always 'good'?"

The male students are really touchy feely with each other. For instance, one student will sit on another student's lap. The one on top will then tell me, "Teacher, he's gay."

My students don't seem to understand Asians not from Korea. I know I've said it before but I just want to say it again.I think their logic is, "Hey, he looks like us. Eats like us. Black hair, brown eyes like us. Has glasses like us. Duh, he's Korean!" When I tell them I'm not Korean, they remark, "Wait, are you adopted?"

One thing that I didn't really prepare myself for were my students' misconceptions of America as a whole. Everything I knew about Korea was from what my friends told me and what I saw in movies and dramas. Some of it was true, some of it was not. What I do realize is that America, if you've never really opened up a book, is full of violence and sex if you just watch tv and the movies. The other day one female student asked me if I had a gun. I asked my co teacher about this and she told me how they watch too much tv and stuff. Then I realize, in some movies, for no apparent reason, everyone just seems to have guns and are trained in utilizing them to their full potential.

Other random things -

If you speak English on the subway, people will STARE at you.

When called, instead of saying "What" or "huh?" here they say "why?"

When I first got here, I did a lot more bowing. Now I just do a lot more long head nods because I'm lazy.

My students call me evil because how I laugh at their pain.

Goal Setting

I read a FB status of a colleague of mine about goals that got me thinking. A long time ago in military school we had something we did every two weeks called "goal setting". In this period we'd set our goals, as cadets, to achieve certain objectives within the next week perhaps earning certain awards and doing well in tests.

In different stages of our lives we seem to have different goals in place in order to progress, or grow up, in life. In high school we strive for high marks in classes, participate in extracurricular activities, and do community service in an effort to gain admission to a good university. Why do we do these things? Well, as my parents and perhaps society has taught me, in order to live a full and meaningful life, I must go to a good college in order to get a good job that pays well so I can be a baller.

Leading up to university that was my thought process, as it also was those before me and many students before them. Yet when I entered my college years and progress through my first few classes, I started to wonder what was it that I really wanted. From a personal stand point, I had everything I could ever want. A nice home, a car, lots of good food, but something was missing. I couldn't quite...put a finger on it.

The goal until that point in my life has simply been to make that paper and own material displays of achievement to show that hey, I made it. But what exactly was that? I changed my major a few times, floated awhile perhaps lost. Grades weren't too good. I was very apathetic toward school. I didn't really know what I wanted. There was no goal that I was working toward.

Toward the latter part of my college career I was fortunate enough to meet some amazing people, including an awesome best friend, that has helped me find a way a little bit and helped me realize a few things about life and myself.

The reason why I'm in Korea was because an opportunity to teach abroad came up around my senior year and I sought advice from my best friend about it. Without hesitation he told me to do it. He told me to explore and experience and not to come back until I had learned enough to write an epic book about it.

I've also realized that although I can find motivation and inspiration from others, it is ultimately up to me to set my own goals.

So here it goes.

1. Save money, not just to save money, but for post baccalaureate education and personal effects.
2. Lose weight
3. Learn Korean and experience as much as possible

Realities of Being a Teacher

It goes without saying but I still have to say it.

School in Korea is different than school back home in the states.

The pressure on the students is huge. They would go to academy after academy after school until the wee hours of the night. Sometimes I'd be coming home from shopping around 10pm and I'd see kids with books looking all tired running to catch the subway. Sometimes, the pressure is too much. Awhile ago, my main co teacher and I had a discussion on adolescence and their feelings. She brought up depression and how it affected students' performance. I remarked that, at this age, kids hate everything and because they have so much pressure in Korea, they hate everything even more. She told me how she talked to the student as much as possible and even referred him to the school psychologist because it was out of our expertise as teachers.

A week or so ago, my co teacher told me one of her students committed suicide. I think it was the same student that was depressed but I didn't want to ask. I know of the pressures that Asian kids face, that in Japan it's huge and that the suicide rates are so high, but I never realized it would hit so close to home.

When I first started teaching, I thought I was some sort of novelty simply because the students haven't been exposed to many native English speakers before and that the novelty would wear off. Maybe it will, maybe it won't but what I found interesting is when students talk to me outside of class.

Students always talk to me outside of class but there were two occasions when I was walking to school that stuck with me. I was walking and one of my students recognized me so he ran up to me and started talking. I asked him the basic stuff, how he was doing, what he did yesterday, etc. What I didn't expect was what he said next. He told me about how the day before he was talking to a friend of his from another school. She was very depressed and actually was talking about suicide. I was a little worried so I asked him what he did about it and he said he pretty much talked to her on the phone for hours. A few days later I saw him again while walking to school and we talked about it and we discussed how he was helpful was his friend.

A week later his main English teacher told me how those two conversations meant the world to him, simply because he could use what he was taught and communicate with me. He told the teacher he was so happy.

You know, the saying goes that you don't really know your affect on others but it really hit me when she told me that.

Some people say that some people are born with the ability to do something. Other people say that people work to acquire the ability to do something. I used to be part of the latter group but as I get older a part of me is drifting toward the former. Growing up, and as banal as this sounds, people would tell me that I would be a good teacher. I told them "Naw, I don't have patience for kids." We'd laugh about how I'd probably beat up the kids (I actually whack them with a toy hammer, that's a story for later). I've had quite a few jobs since my senior year of high school, everything from working at Disneyland to retail and foods. The dirtiest I've felt after work was when I was working at a sales-type of environment where I pretty much sold lies to customers. It was from the job that I realized that I was just making money for the man on top of me, and he was making money for the man on top of him and so on.

What's amazing to me is that, after a long day of work, after not sleeping because I spent way too much time online the night before, after dealing with problem children and students that were too cool for school, when I come home I feel... fulfilled. I feel that I did something good in the world. I could be almost falling asleep at work before class but when the bell rings I'm in full gear. There's just something about teaching, about being in front of the class that is so intoxicating and exhilarating.

quick funny thing

two aim conversations that have cheered me up recently (paraphrased)

girl: I black guys
girl: I like you anthony
girl: you must be black or at least, half black


another one

girl: I met this random muscular asian guy at a bar in fullerton
girl: he reminded me of you, he was all talkative and stuff

I don't know why...but these small conversations mean the world to me

Thoughts from Asia

In my thus far brief time in Korea I've realized many things about the Asian culture in the United States versus the culture over here. I will say that although I've only been around native Koreans, I've seen very many similarities amongst the cultures that have had much Chinese, Confucian, influence.

The men in Korea, I should say married men, have total freedom it seems. They stay out late and drink with friends and co workers, they have fun and leave the child rearing to the wife at home. Dads would get home late at night, say hi to the kids and go to bed. Sound familiar? I always wondered why my own father did it and it seems is simply part of the culture.

I've always been very critical of the Asian propensity for loving anything brand name. Everything has to have a brand name, everything has to be good. I've thought about why and I wonder why can't we just like normal, functional stuff. Then I came to Korea. There are A LOT of merchandise, clothes, watches, shoes, anything to buy. Because there is such a vast quantity of goods there are also a high volume of lower end merchandise that won't last long. I bought some shoes from a no name store earlier today only to return them five minutes later when I found better name brand shoes for a little bit more money but a lot better quality. Brand name simply means that it has a much, much higher chance of being of good quality rather than taking a stab at some random shop somewhere.

Chicks also love designer brands here so guys have to keep up.

Another thing that bothered me was how Asian people gossip like CRAaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I hated telling anything to any one of my family members because soon enough family who I've never met will know all the little intricate details of my life. At work people also talk. Many of the teachers at my school that I work with know a lot about me, where's I'm from, what I like, things I eat, how I'm single and how everyone wants to set me up. It seems as though the work place is more like a family than a business, as far as teachers are concerned and what we see as gossip they simply see as information to be freely distributed amongst family members. For some reason it doesn't bother me as much as my own family doing it.

Also the sharing information thing also is to keep kids in line. One of my teacher friends at the school, a male teacher, found out about how one of his kids started smoking from one of his teacher friends at another school. You already know what happened to the son.

Every time I would go anywhere to buy anything with my parents from a non mainstream place, like the mall, they would haggle like crazy. As a kid, I wondered why they would talk so much and only get like two bucks off the sticker price. Now I realize that over here you're able to get massive crazy discounts if you can work it and if you're not a foreigner. I always get better deals when I'm with a Korean friend.

Eating out has to be the Asian national past time. It seems as though people rarely eat at home because things are just so cheap around here. Many places offer a full meal for about five bucks.

Korea-isms

Korea is like Disneyland -
It's really crowded around Seoul. And the rail way system, to me, feels a lot like the mono rail system at Disney for some reason.

There are "lands" to go to for the things you need or want. If you want to party you go to Hongdae, if you want to shop you go to Myoungdong or Dongdaemun, if you want foreigners you can go to Itaewon.

Also often times, there are a lot of things to take pictures of. Just like Disneyland!

Korea is a big game of hide and seek -
When I'm waiting for people or chilling on the subway. I like to play "Local or Foreigner?" I like to look around at the crowd and see if there are other Asians that aren't native Korean but are foreigners. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I don't. Heck, there are some of my Korean American friends who totally blend in some times when they dress like the locals.

Korea is like the Drew Carey Show -
People will randomly break out in coordinated dance.

Everyone here knows every dance move to every popular Korean song. Sometimes before or after class I'll put on some youtube music vids of some songs, like Wonder Girls or Girls Generation, and AUTOMATICALLY many of my students will bust out in the dance steps of the music video...step for step.

Just the other day I was shopping in Dongdaemun and I randomly came across this stage where the host were simply calling up random people from the crowd to come up and dance to these songs, like that one G Dragon song, and they'd come up and dance PERFECTLY to the music.
Korea is a learning experience -
I've learned to look over my shoulder to change lanes...while walking. No joke. There often would be times where I'd just kinda drift over to get around people and people would bump into me and give me the stare of death. Or vice versa. Actually, old Korean ladies push me out of the way to get somewhere all the time.

Korea will set you up -
You're not allowed to be single in Korea. Generally the first thing locals ask one another when they get acquainted is "Where are you from?" The next thing is "Do you have a girlfriend?" The follow up would usually be something like, "You need to find yourself a Korean girlfriend." or "I'll find you a nice Korean girl, she'll be pretty!" Heck, even my friends back home are telling me to do it.

Actually, couples in Korea are quite funny. They have this Konglish term, "couple tees", in which both couples would wear the same outfit. Now I understand how couples match and all but over here they take it to another level with same outfits. It's like same pink polos (for guy and girl) jeans, matching chucks, the works.