Student-isms: 7 Commonly Encountered

Kids say the darndest things, as they say. Now, if you change up some cultural considerations and mix around different social mores here, kids will then say some pretty funny stuff.

The following quotes are all true.

1. I'm fine, thank you, and you?

Remember how most of us took Spanish as the foreign language requirement in high school? Well, I didn't because I took French because I wanted to be a non conformist for some reason. To this day I only remember how to count and how to say cheese omelette. In any case, you'll remember the answer to "Hola, como estas?" is always "Bien, y tu?"

When you study English, the correct answer to"Hi, how're you?" will always be "I'm fine, thank you, and you?" It's a running joke amongst the teaching community here.

2. Mr. Thai, do you have a gun?

We get much of our perceptions, however wrong or right, from movies and televisions nowadays. Many Americans think that Amsterdam is a place for drugs and hookers (yay Eurotrip), Vietnam is full of hookers that will love you long time, and that Jamaicans all get high all day and all night.

Due to American programming where shows such as CSI, 24, and anything Fox can come up with , reign supreme many people outside of the states have a perception that all of America is dangerous and we all have guns for some reason, JUST in case there's a gang fight in the middle of the street so we'll all start shooting each other.

3. Show me the money

You know how we all know a few words of a foreign language from certain films here and there? Many Americans have learned "di di mau" from various Vietnamese War movies, "omelette du fromage" from Dexter's Laboratory, and how every Austrian speaks like Arnold.

I'm assuming some of my students just saw Jerry McGuire because it became one of the only phrases my kids say to me outside of class.

Typical conversation

me - "Hi ______, how're you?"

kid - "I'm fine, thank you, and you?"

me - "Great!"

kid - "SHOW ME THE MONEYY!" *holds hand out for money, I laugh and walk away, they chase me shouting, seeing this, about 8 more kids start chasing me shouting the exact same thing."

4. Mr. Thai, do you have a wife?

Remember when you were in middle school and how everyone over the age of 20 was considered old? I imagine that's how my kids view me. One of the first questions I was asked by my very first class I taught was, "Do you have a wife?" Now, this struck me as odd because this never happens back at home. My first thought was, "Oh shit, do I that old? I knew I should've gotten botox when I had the chance!" Turns out, Korean men about my age get hitched about...my age.

What's funny in the regard is not only do students ask me if I have a wife but other coworkers do as well. When I respond that I don't have a wife they always say, "Why not? Go get married...now!" I just can't win.

5. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Korean middle school students have the maturity of your 8 year old cousin. They chase each other around, call each other names (like ugly face), and play fight with tennis rackets and ping pong paddles. Often these actions cause these students to scream bloody murder and go "TEACHER! HE'S HITTING ME!" or the ubiquitous "HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!!" or the best "(to another student) I'm not gay. (to me) Teacher! Make him stop touch (sic) me!"

6. She's ugly

My female students have no problem voicing their opinion on any given person's attractiveness. When I play music videos for them before class often times they would either say "no!! ugglyyy!" or "oh my gawd, so beautiful!" In fact, there have been many times where a group of female students would stop me in the hall to tell me this, "Mr. Thai! You know what?" "What?" "She's ugly!" *points to another female in the group, at which time random Korean words are then spoken and they start chasing each other around and I go on my merry way to wherever I was headed*

7. Mr. Thai, you are handsome. Give me candy!

Students like to be suave and tricky.

Many times, they would simply skip the whole flattery thing and go for the main goal - chocolate. They'd walk right up to me and say "cho-co-late!"

To which I say, "chu-gu-lay?" (do you wanna die?)

"No no teacher, CHOC-CO-LATE!"

"yes yes, CHU-GU-LAY?"

"choc-co!"

"chu-gu"

"chocolate!"

"chugulay!" *repeat for another five minutes, student walks away in failure, I do the evil teacher laugh*

It's similar to that one episode of The Simpsons where the family goes down to Australia and Marge tries to order coffee at a bar.

Marge - "A cup of coffee please" Bartender- "One can of beer coming right up"

"No no, coffee." "Be-er"

"Cof-fee" "Bee-eer"

"C-o-f-f-e-e" "B-e-e-r"

Bonus! Teacher Quote 8. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

I was in the little English teachers office and we were talking about some school related stuff. A co teacher told me after talking about it, "Oh please don't tell anyone about what we just talked about." I then told her, "It's okay, we have a saying back home 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.'" We all laugh.

She then asks, "Wait, what happens in Vegas?"

I giggle and walk away.